30 Years Later, Sign of the Beginning

I attended the 'Classroom of the Heart' about seven times when I was eight years old.  After the graduation, my mother used to say for a while 'Do something for your heart!' when something happened, but she seemed to have forgotten after a few months. The word 'heart' completely disappeared from our conversations.

Since I enjoyed going to the 'Forest with a Spring’ in my last class, I decided to challenge myself alone at home some time after the graduation. This time I arrived at the next location. It resembled a place like the 'King's Chamber' inside a vast cave. For some reason, I intensely felt a nostalgia and an overwhelming sense of absolute comfort there. Simply being there was incredibly soothing, and without any particular reason, I leisurely relaxed before returning. After going to this second location, I understood that by 'diving,' I could emerge in either the 'Forest with a Spring' or the 'King's Chamber in the cave.

After solving the puzzle and seeing my sick uncle smile at the forest spring, his condition never improved. ¥I ended up feeling like, 'What was that all about?' and gradually stopped talking about the class. I wondered about where those two places I visited were in the class but I realized it was fruitless to ponder further. Eventually, I stopped thinking about it altogether.

I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about the Classroom of the Heart or the experiences I had while diving. Time passed without sharing it with anyone, and while the memories didn't fade away completely, there weren't any particular moments that triggered me to recall.

Around 30 years have passed since then.

I moved to America, got married, and had three children.

At age 38, one late night around 27th or 28th of December, everyone in the family had gone to bed. I was mindlessly looking at the calendar on the wall for the upcoming year.

I was thinking ‘January, oh, New Year's falls on this day, huh? February, Valentine's is on a weekday.’ When I looked at March, my belly tightens…

My belly tightened, just like a contraction. It felt like the early stage of labor—no pain, but a surge of power making my belly tense up.

I wondered if it was just my imagination. I continued looking at the calendar.

June, a tightness—July, another one—August, it's intensifying! It's getting a bit painful!

I've had three births. Did labor pains become a habit? No, that can't be it. I've never heard of such a thing.

Is it an illness? 'Calendar contractions'? What kind of illness is that!

I started getting scared.

Oh no, if this is an illness, what am I going to do... But wait, an illness that coincides with looking at a calendar, that's not possible, right? What is this, what's happening?

I started to panic a bit.

Let's calm down for now. Take a deep breath... Alright, no tightening now. Should I check September...

I flipped through the calendar. September. Tightening again. I knew it—😭😭😭

It kept happening more and more! October—tightening! November—intense tightening! I can't bear it! I'm too scared to look at December!!!

What is this? What's happening to me?

Panic.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

This isn't an illness. There can't be an illness triggered by looking at a calendar and causing this tightening sensation. Is it something with my mind? My mental state?

Does it imply anxiety about the future when I look at the calendar? Then why don't January and February cause this? Is the anxiety limited to three months from now? What's going on here?

Let's think. Let's think this through carefully.

There were months with 'tightening' and months with 'intense tightening!' Especially November was too intense, almost causing discomfort in my ribs. Let me double-check.

Flipping through the calendar

I came to understand a bit. There are months without the 'tightening,' medium ‘tightening’, and intense 'tightening' months—these three types.

When examining the days of the 'tightening' months, there were particular days with an especially strong sensation. It lasted for about a week at times.

In the months with intense 'tightening,' every single day exhibited this sensation.

No matter how many times I reviewed the calendar, it remained the same. I marked all the 'tightening' days on my phone's calendar.

Ultimately, I couldn't figure out what this phenomenon is and gave up thinking further that night.

This was, I later realized, the initial contact from my guide.

It's a sign of the beginning.

(11.03.2016)